Growing A Lot of Faith for a Little Boy
Has life ever taken a turn that you never expected? How did you handle it? Did you turn to God? Do you have a relationship with God or just an acquaintance?
Growing up, I went to church every Sunday with my family and loved going, but did I have a relationship with God? The answer is no. I believed in Him and prayed every once in a while when I remembered but I did not have a relationship with Him. I was like every little girl that I knew. My goals were to go to college, get a job, marry a handsome man, and have children, lots of children!
I went to college but did not graduate. Then I found a handsome husband that was wrong for me. I lived a dark and depressing life for 2 years when I found out that he cheated on me. What? We went to church every Sunday and talked about the bible all the time. We should be living a great life, but we didn’t have a relationship with God. Once I found out about the cheating: I prayed, went to church, and spent time with my college friend that had a great relationship with God. I knew that I loved God and wanted Him in my life, but I still had no relationship with God.
Fast forward several years after my divorce and I found an amazing man who had the same rough path I had walked. We got married, and wanted to add to his 2 children and live an amazing life; but, we couldn’t have children. We talked and prayed and found out about fostering.
Journey to Foster Parenting
Our journey had a really rough start, we were turned down in the beginning because my step-children complained to their mother about us fostering. She called DCS and put a stop to our application. Talk about a rough patch, there went all of our dreams of growing our family. This put a wrench into our family and our relationship with each other. I prayed and asked God why this was happening. I never had a relationship between trust and true belief so I thought I got no answer. This was in December of 2012 and in April of 2013, we received a phone call from DCS asking why we stopped our application process. What!? We explained what had happened and were in disbelief that the process was continuing.
For those months we thought our prayers had been heard and that HE didn’t care about us. In reality, He was working behind the scenes the entire time. In July of 2013, we became certified foster parents. Our amazing foster care specialist came to do our home study and spoke to the children. She discovered that they were just scared of the unknown and took it to their mother instead of talking to us. In late August, we got a call for 2 boys. I wanted so badly to say yes but my husband did not want to and so I answered, “no thank you.” I was devastated!!!!
He didn’t like the circumstances and I couldn’t see anything but losing a chance to become a mother. I prayed and cried but nothing changed. We had a 2-week vacation planned in September. We returned and the very first day, we got another call. Again, I was so excited; however, my husband did not want to take a child on our first day back.
First Placement
On October 9th, I was at work when I got the call!! I was so excited and was tempted to just say yes without talking to my husband. Instead, I waited and spoke to him. We agreed we would take this little one. He had just been born and was positive for drug abuse. We got to visit him in the NICU and the second I picked him up, I knew! This was going to be our son; God was talking to me! I couldn’t believe the overwhelming feelings I was having. I felt connected to this little baby that was crying, shaking, and suffering. At that moment I thanked God for letting me become this little boy’s foster mom, but something inside me was telling me that this wasn’t just going to be my foster son. Instead, he would be my son. I just knew it. I couldn’t explain how I knew it, but I did.
We went every day to the NICU and held this precious, beautiful little boy. Every day I fell more in love with him. We brought him home when he was 3 weeks old and had 2 solid months with him at home before DCS mentioned visits. We went to the DCS office to meet with the parents and have a CFTM (which we didn’t know what that was at the time). While meeting the parents I felt love for this woman even though while she was pregnant with my boy, she used drugs. I watched her hold him differently than I, burp him differently than I, and talk to him differently than I but loved her. We went home that night and I decided that I wanted her to succeed! I wanted her clean, healthy, and to be a good mom!
Our Rollercoaster Ride
Unlike most foster parents I know, we gave out our phone numbers to the biological parents and expected them to use them during emergent times like helping them through hard times or just letting them know we care and support them. That is not what they used it for. The biological father called me every day to tell me he didn’t want our beautiful baby boy, that he didn’t love him, and wanted the biological mother to give him up for adoption. He wanted to know if we would adopt. Of course, we would adopt! We loved him and our love for him was still growing!
Fast forward through a year of canceled visits and lots of CFTMs where she never did anything that DCS requested but she was getting overnights and quickly. Our world turned upside down in a matter of minutes and no matter how hard I fought, they insisted that our beautiful 1-year-old would go from 6 hours a week to 60 hours a week within a month! I left that meeting crying all the way home while talking to my husband on the phone. I told him I didn’t understand how God could let this happen and that I could not live with our son leaving our safe home and going into a home where he was not wanted by the biological father. What would happen if the biological father got mad? Would our little boy get abused or worse?
Our Faith Put to the Ultimate Test
That night while rocking my baby I spoke to God and asked Him what was happening then took the time to listen. He told me that our son would remain our son all I had to do was have faith in Him. I prayed every day, spoke to God every day, read scripture every day, but most importantly listened to God every day. I had a relationship with Him!! Every time the bad news came, I gave it to Him. I told Him I had faith and knew He would make this happen that our son would be ours and believed every word I told Him. I trusted Him!!
Our son did 3-4 overnights then she decided she needed a break and 1 week before we were to lose him for good (he was going into home trialing), God made it stop and change course. You see DCS was adamant that our little boy would be with his biological parents by Christmas and even hid the fact that she had used and that the father had drunk 1 week before the home trial!! I had a relationship with God and listened to Him and trusted Him. I spoke to our CASA and case worker and found out that they had safety concerns. After which, I confronted them with those safety concerns and the caseworker said it was out of her hands. God told me to contact my old coworker who had been fostering for 15 years and she told me to email the safety concerns to her and the CASA, I asked what good that would do and she said just do it. I knew that God was telling me what to do through her. I sent the email and 2 hours later everything was stopped, visits, overnights, and in-home trial visits were all stopped.
You see I just needed to have faith in Him. I believe that when I had a relationship with Him where I was not only talking but also listening to Him, I could have faith in Him. We adopted our son 9 months later.
Our New Journey
4 years later, I find myself in the same boat with his biological sister. We are still in the middle of the situation but the difference is, that I came into this situation with God. I have faith, trust and I am listening!
